Diary Entries : 5 Year Plan

July 12, 2018

 Today I am 26 years old. I'm on a train to Denali National Park. I've been planning this trip to Alaska for the past year, and I feel it is only right to take this trip alone, that is how I do my best thinking. I love being alone in nature, I can feel like a blade of grass or a stone at the bottom of a stream if I really concentrate.
 As I always do on my birthday, I'm thinking about my past. If I had taken this trip a couple years ago I wouldn't have bought a return ticket. I know at least for the next couple school years, I need to be close to my family. I still think about disappearing into the woods, or the desert, but not as much. I still don't feel a sense of belonging much of anywhere, but I'm coming around to my fellow human beings..
 I've been moved to tears traveling this landscape, yes, I cry at a lot of things, but beauty strikes me that way. I like making Scott wipe my tears when we go see a movie. I sort of wish he was here with me on this trip, he can see things I can't, and vice versa, I think that's why we're such a good team.

July 12, 2021

 Today I am 29 years. Astrologically it is my Saturn return, and I have just graduated from college, a mere 7 years behind my peers. This is of no concern to me, as I no longer give an eff you see kay what anyone else thinks of me. I've been waiting for this to happen for most of my twenties. I feel the burden of external validation lifted from my shoulders, and I swear around children and the elderly now.
 I'm spending a few days camping in one of my favorite places, Assateague Island, Maryland. Yesterday, I rented a canoe and rowed to the middle of the bay, I got horizontal in the canoe and took a nap, hoping I would float off to sea. I woke up with a sunglasses tan, rocking back and forth in a corner of the swamp, and paddled my way to return the boat. Some of the wild ponies laughed at me, but we are old friends, so it's all good.
 Now that I'm finally done with college, all I want it to relax and do the things I enjoy. I sort of feel like I've forgotten what they are, or who I enjoyed doing them with. Once again, I find myself meditating in nature on the anniversary of my birth. Maybe I'll just try to stay outside for a whole year, that sounds good to me.

July 12, 2022

 Today, I am 30 years old. I have spent the last year traveling the country, living and working in National parks. I'm visiting my parents for my birthday, my brothers have made the trip as well, so it's a nice feeling all around. They are what I missed most this past year. Also, being able to dress according to mood, but I am beautifully tanned, so I can't complain too much.
 My parents think it's time for me to begin a career that will sustain my future family. I sort of agree and am half-looking for a rich, outdoorsman to marry. I've missed the soap here too, I've asked my mom for a Bath & Bodyworks basket for my birthday.
 I'm still not sure what my next move is. Maybe I can hustle for a couple months, then hole up "Walden" style, and work on my writing. I guess Peach Bellini hand soap doesn't really play into that fantasy. I still feel very young in the world, and even younger in the universe.